what a weird fucking time
I’ve been shamelessly using Tinder as a way to find top rope partners. Guys think it’s an easy way to get a date so they all agree to climb with me. I climb with lots of dudes.
minor plot point: I am moving to alaska in 3 weeks.
I met a guy named Sam around a month ago. We climbed rocks together and hit it off. we met on a friday, went camping on saturday, were talking every day by sunday.
fast forward to now and I’ve caught the feels. I’ve caught the feels for sam. shit.
sam and I had sex this afternoon. wild, passionate sex after having a long conversation about how we caught the feels for each other in a very impossible situation: I’m moving to the middle of fucking nowhere in 3 weeks from yesterday. 20 days and I’m moving to a village of 600.
he’s on a date with another girl right now. He also didn’t cancel the date. should he? no, probably not. I can’t ask him not to date other people just because I want him to myself and I’ll get jealous if he fucks anybody else. I’m leaving. that’s my choice. it’s my own fault for catching feelings for someone when I’M ABOUT TO FUCKING MOVE.
I hate myself for doing this to myself. I hate that I have feelings for him. I hate that I’m leaving him. I hate that he’s seeing other people while we’re having unprotected sex.
it’s not cool, man. none of it. it’s also all my fault, and I can’t ask him to not see other people. he, ironically, met another girl at the rock gym I INTRODUCED HIM TO. fuck I’m angry right now.
